The Journey of Parenthood…

So This is 30

I’m sure most of you are like I am and tend to have social circles filled with people who are pretty much around the same age you are. My real life friends, my face book friends, most of the people I have contact with are all close to my age. That means for the past few years we have all either turned 30, are turning 30, or are approaching 30. 

A common trend I’ve seen among many of my near-30 friends is to talk about things they want to accomplish before reaching this milestone age. Some take trips. Some read books. Some change up their personal look. Everyone seems to have that feeling of urgency about the ending of the era of being a 20-something. It’s like this pressure is on us to achieve something, and achieve it fast because 30 means we are real adults.

I turned 30 this past month. And around my birthday I thought a lot about being 30 and what it meant to me. I tried to come up with something I really wanted to do during my last days of being in the 20s. Or something I really hoped to achieve during my first year of being 30. And you know what I realized? I’m exactly where I want to be. 

Contentment is such a blessing and a gift and it’s a happy, joyful place to be in life. Yes, during my last weeks of being 29 (and first few of being 30) I was dealing with some postpartum depression issues but it didn’t change my perspective of how truly content I am with all areas of my life.

Growing up all I ever wanted for my future was to be a wife and a mother. Not just a wife and not just a mother but a GOOD wife and a GOOD mother. These are things I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with and I was nervous about how I would achieve them. But here I sit. And I know I’m far from being a perfect wife or a perfect mother. But I know I’m GOOD. And that’s a great place to be! 

We are ALL striving to be better and to grow and to learn and to turn that GOOD into GREAT and I have no doubts that I will get there. Even if I don’t realize I’ve reached that point until I’m looking back at it as a memory! 

I still constantly pinch myself as I look at my husband. Then at our children. We’ve been married now for almost 8 years and I still will say to him “omg can you believe we are married?!?!” He laughs because, duh, three kids later we’re for sure married 😉 But it all still feels unbelievable to me. How am I blessed enough to have found this amazing, wonderful man who completes my life? How am I blessed enough to have three healthy, beautiful children who give me my passion and pride? 

In turning 30 I have very little that I want to change in my life. All the “big things” are better than I had ever even dreamed they could be. Being young and aspiring to be a wife and mother is one thing…but living it is 1,000 times better. No one can know what it’s truly like to be a parent until they hold their baby for the first time. Being a mother is far above and beyond any of my hopes or expectations.

As I reflect on my past I see a LOT of mistakes. A lot of things I’d do over and do differently. But I also know that they got me to where I am now. And that each hardship helped me to grow. I’m thankful for that growth and as I look to the future that is my biggest hope, to only continue to grow. 

I am very, very content in my life where it is now. I do not feel like our family is complete but I’m also not in a rush for another baby anytime soon and I’m happy enjoying each moment as it comes and trying to cherish each memory of my children while they are young. I love the place where Zach and I are at right now. Marriage is filled with ups and downs but lately our ups have been longer and higher and our downs have been shorter and more shallow. I think being older and having more children has been a big blessing for our marriage and has helped us grow together and has helped us learn to let go of the smaller issues. I am also surrounded by amazing friendships. Friends who truly love me for me and who I know have my back no matter what. Friendships that are real and honest and FUN. I’m so blessed to have such a great variety of awesome women in my life!

As I turn 30 I do not move forward expecting things to stay the same. Contentment isn’t about resisting change. I’m excited for what the future holds. My goal is to continue to have the peace that fulfillment brings but also embrace whatever changes may come. I want to dig deeper into myself. I want to continue to pour into my children and my husband and our home and our family unit…but I also want to make sure to pour into myself. And especially to allow Jesus to pour into me. I want to recognize all that He is doing in my life on a daily basis and I want to do better at appreciating Him and His Glory. 

I hope this decade is a decade of true growth for me. I hope I turn 40 feeling just as joyful and content, but also feeling more wise and having a closer connection with my inner self and with my savior. 

When I was young I remember thinking about how old 30 was. Even as a teenager 30 felt so, so far away. I remember hearing adults talk about how they appreciated where they were in life and how they wouldn’t want to go back and be young again. And I totally thought they were bluffing. I mean who wouldn’t want to stay young forever? But you know what? I get it now. I guess we truly don’t understand until we live it. But there is such beauty in aging and there is so much to appreciate about each stage of life. 

Being young is fun. It’s a selfish time and a carefree time in life but what all those adults said back then was true: I wouldn’t trade where I am now for anything. And I as look ahead I am looking forward to all that I will learn and understand as I continue to age. I know I will look back on my life now with fond memories and an even greater perspective. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of goals and aspirations for my new decade. I want to do better at exercising. I want to be more “in the moment.” I want to complete our family. I want to travel to new places. I want to experience life! And of course I want to grow deeper in my Christian walk. But overall, as I enter the land of 30-something, I am just thankful. Thankful for all I’ve experienced so far. Thankful for the love I have and the people who fill my days with such joy. Thankful to have all my dreams come true. Thankful for the opportunity to live and breathe each morning! 

Thirty isn’t some big scary number like I always had picture it being. In fact, it’s pretty dang awesome. 🙂 How did you feel when you hit the big 3-0? 

Emily Parker
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