This is a letter to my son on his 16th birthday from mom. Each year I write a birthday letter to each of my children on their birthdays. It’s hard to believe I’m only a few letters away from gifting Kye his entire book of yearly letters when he turns eighteen!
Dear Kye,
Your Sixteenth Birthday. Sixteen. It’s such a huge milestone. In fact, I think it’s the biggest milestone age of childhood. At 18, you may officially become an adult, but at 16, the true transition from childhood to adulthood begins.
Freedoms. Responsibilities. Independence.
I believe firmly that the next two years that is the focus. Take all the small things and little life lessons from the last month, the past year, the past decade and beyond, and form them into what will be a better tomorrow for yourself. My focus as your mom up until this point has been to lead. Now? I’m here to guide and support you.
Putting you in the driver’s seat of your own life, sitting beside you to help navigate, help you get back on track when you veer off course and be a positive support system through it all.
It’s such an interesting mix of emotions for me in this transition. I am SO excited for you. I know you’re ready. You’re capable. You’re prepared. I also know you’ll LOVE this phase of life. Naturally, I’m also super nervous. My stomach feels sick thinking about you driving – about all the things that can happen on the road. Crazy drivers, accidents. Makes me want to barf.
To be transparent, I am also feeling FOMO. Seeing you drive off with your sister, making memories just the two of you is SO special but is also a reminder that I’m not going to be part of every memory, not there to capture it all. A transition for us both.
I am surprised, though, by an emotion I am NOT feeling. I don’t feel sad. I don’t look back at your little face in your baby photos and wish I could go back. As a young mom I’d always hear “You’re gonna miss this.” But I don’t.
Sure, I look back and smile. I am forever grateful for our memories. Yes, it’s crazy how fast time flew by. But I am way too happy and content in the NOW of life with you to ever wish it away. I’d never want to go back!
Maybe the sadness element will hit when you turn 18, or whenever you first move out. I’m interested to see if I’ll wish I could go back in time at any point? But I’m pretty confident that I’ll feel the same then as I do now. Appreciative, grateful, so blessed, filled with so much love and just enjoying the PRESENT stage! Embracing this special day. Enjoying this moment!
Each stage of parenting is truly better than the one before and being your mom has only been more and more fun, rewarding, and fulfilling the older you’ve gotten.
I love that we can talk about deeper topics, truly edify each other, share inside jokes (and now that you’re allowed to have an Instagram account, we can also share funny reels!).
I love having a front-row seat to the man you’re becoming. I love just watching you. In awe of the young man before me. You’re so stinking handsome that it blows me away! Overnight, it seems like you have truly come into your own, and it’s such an amazing experience to get to witness.
I have always appreciated the gift of motherhood and have never taken it for granted, but as you get older I appreciate it even more. The late teen years feel like a countdown. Soon, you’ll enter adulthood. You’ll move into your own home. Start your own immediate family.
I soak up as much time with you as I can, and I’m so thankful that a byproduct of the homeschool decision has meant SO much bonus time together with you! I love our lunches together (even though you’d rather eat in silence). I love seeing you outside practicing basketball. I love forcing you to go to homeschool events and seeing your eyes meet mine with that look of “please mom can we leave???”
More than individual time, Daddy and I are also soaking up as much quality family time together as we can. We’ve reached this golden stage where now all four of y’all are FUN on trips! Now is the time for us to make all the family travel memories before you’re adulthood schedule makes it trickier.
With our plans for upcoming travels it makes me excited for the next several years. I know we have so many fun times to come!
In addition to focusing on our family memory making I’m especially focused on the next couple of years being about strengthening and deepening your bonds with your siblings. Now that you’re a driver I have encouraged you to go and do with your siblings as often as possible.
If you go on dates or hang with friends…you gotta pay for it yourself. But take a sibling and Mommy and Daddy will cover the bill 😉
Just in the brief time of you being 16 you’ve already taken Britt to do a few things (another perk of homeschool!) and it’s been SO good for your relationship. I may feel a twinge of FOMO but the reality is…I pray all of my babies outlive me. The bonds you have with each other are SO IMPORTANT.
Those bonds won’t just be beneficial when Daddy and I are gone. But they are also the bonds that will keep our entire family unit strong. You and your siblings have such a huge shared history that only you will remember and be able to share. Never let that go!
Yes, you’ll have your differences. At times you’ll annoy each other and disappoint each other. But fight for those relationships.
I pray you each choose spouses who value those bonds as well. That they feel welcomed and loved in our family and that you are equally welcomed and loved by theirs. As I look to the future of our family unit I pray for our family to be Godly and healthy! And my parenting (and personal!) focus is on these areas.
You are such an amazing big brother. You are patient with your siblings. You help them grow and encourage them in their endeavors.
I know Britt being home with you tends to drive you crazy at times but you’re differences in personalities are also your strengths and ways you help to better yourselves and each other.
I also know that Spear can test your patience. It can be a hard time having a such a little boy so far in age from you as a brother so, so much younger than you are. But I also believe that God blessed you with Spear to help you have the perfect practice for a future of being a dad.
You’re learning SO many skills in your relationship with Spear that will serve you well as a parent. Patience, getting on his level, helping him learn new things, playing things with him that you may not enjoy, seeing how he looks up to you and being mindful of your choices knowing he’s watching.
I’m interested to see how homeschool life shifts with Tess most likely coming home next school year too. I know it’ll be a great opportunity for you and her to bond in deeper ways like you have with Britt. I also know it’ll change the dynamic a bit of our day-to-day routines (as adding anyone to the mix does!).
I have always been so proud of you. Your strong moral compass. Your strong work ethic. Your kindness. Your desire for personal growth. Your deep thinking. Your leadership. Your empathy for others. Your well-roundness. Your kind heart. Your willingness to do hard things. Your common sense skills. Your mind. Your example to the other young men and women you meet. Just all of YOU as you are and who you are!
This is the time where your true self will really begin to shine and take form in a way that all the little things of life have been building towards.
You’re taking the reigns on more of your life decisions. Your life course. And, most importantly, your spirituality. It’s about YOUR relationship with the Lord! Not what Mommy and Daddy believe or do, but what YOU believe, how YOU study, how YOU worship, how YOU develop that bond with our Heavenly Father.
It’s a lot and can feel like a lot and I’m so thankful that you know Daddy and I are “all in” with you. You’re never alone in anything or at any time! You’ll fall short. You’ll struggle. You’ll disappoint us. You’ll disappoint yourself. But we will never stop loving you. Neither will God!
It has been really neat seeing where your interests and talents have lead you. You have dabbled in so many different things.
Currently, you’re very committed to basketball and we are so incredibly proud of the hard work you’ve put in to better your skills. It was a fantastic basketball season! I love that you love it, I love that you put so much time and energy into practicing. And I love seeing those efforts be rewarded!
Even when you can’t initially see it – I promise that the work and effort you give IS paying off. You’ve improved so much and I know you’ll do awesome next season! I have high expectations that we’ll see lots of Kye smiles coming off the court.
I’m also intrigued to see what your next interest will be. I bought you a guitar for Christmas and can really see you enjoying that hobby. My hope is to give you the opportunities and time now to invest in areas of interest so you’ll have lots of hobbies that will bring you joy in adulthood!
Self-care and having things that are just for YOU and bring you happiness are so important. We all need a break and a “thing” and I hope you have several to choose from. I know Daddy is so thankful he has golf and I tend to struggle to find (and make time for) my hobbies. I’m hoping that won’t be the case for you!
I know video games are something you enjoy and while there is nothing wrong with that I also hope that by pushing you towards other things (and limiting the video game time – even though it annoys you!) that you’ll develop a love for a variety of hobbies, interests and activities. Who knows, maybe even wood whittling will be in your future 😉
When it comes to schooling you’ve continued to be an avid reader (definitely a hobby you’ll always have!) and you’ve done an excellent job of keeping up a strong work ethic throughout home school. Even though the grades don’t really “matter” you still make sure you get all A’s. Not just A’s but HIGH A’s.
It cracks me up how hardcore you are about retaking exams if needed in order to make sure you get the best grade possible (I’ll never discourage you either because the more times you take the exams the more you’re learning the material!).
You are currently taking your first dual enrollment college class which is so great. I love that you’ll be able to get certified in Microsoft Office while in high school (and for freeeee)!
You’ve also loved being able to participate in FBLA through the local high school and I’m so glad it’s given you an opportunity to showcase your talents with public speaking, have experience with some healthy competition and has allowed you to stay connected with other kids you grew up with in school. It’s truly the best of both worlds!
I am interested to see the path you take academically in the future. I’m encouraging you to take as many dual enrollment classes as possible. While I’m by no means pushing college, I do think the more you can learn in the field you hope to pursue the better. Especially if it’s free and counts as both high school and college credits…why not, right?
I know your current plan is to work with Daddy is some capacity for your future career and while I fully support that decision (and it makes sense to continue to build on the foundation Daddy and Big Papa have set). I also want to encourage you to have your own path within that as well.
I know it was hard for Daddy coming into a business where Big Papa was already so established and I want you to have confidence in your OWN path, what YOU bring to the table! You have so many talents and I want you to be able to SHINE in whatever you do!
You do bring unique skills to the table that I think will only enhance and help grow the family business that is already established so if you do end up choosing that path I think it will be a rewarding one for you But most importantly I want you to know that you’re valued for who you are – uniquely YOU as your own person and whatever career path you choose we will support you in it!
Homeschooling has been such a gift to our family in many ways but especially in that it has created a hyper focus for me on prioritizing youth events and church-related activities. I never want y’all to look back and feel like you missed out on socializing or having fun functions and activities.
Truly, you do MORE than you would have if you’d been in a traditional school! I feel like you’re always off on one adventure or another and I love seeing your cup so full at the many youth functions you attend. You thrive in a Christian environment and I am so proud that you ENJOY these types of activities and events!
Of course as a Christian Mama I’d be lying if I didn’t also hope that maybe these activities with fellow Christians might lead to relationships and finding your potential wife 😉 I love that you are not messing around when it comes to dating. It’s something you take seriously WITH that future wife in mind.
Relationships you’ve experienced so far have been such wonderful learning lessons for you. Ones you have walked away from better understanding yourself, your needs in a relationship, as well as what qualities and traits you desire in a wife.
I have no concerns whatsoever about you finding that future spouse. We pray for her as she’s out there already! And I know you’ll make an incredible husband and father when the time comes.
Just keep running your own race towards Jesus. Not just on Sunday mornings but every day, all day. Good days. Bad days. Loving Jesus and continually striving to be a better man by focusing on being the best you can be for Him will lead you to so many wonderful things and blessings in life, and beyond.
In these coming years I’m sure there will be more relationships to come. Temptations. Frustrations. Heartbreak. I think this entire letter can be summed up as a reminder that YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. We’ve got you! I’ve got you! I’m here for the beautiful moments and the messy ones too.
I’m thankful for the bond we share. That you know you can come to me with anything and about anything. That you can trust me with your heart.
We have made so many great memories this last year. I know you’re not as into Disney and I get it. We lowered your annual pass and it’s been a good fit. Disney was the perfect family trip for us for a long time with all the wide range of ages of you guys but now that Spear is older (and easier ha!) I do foresee us doing less Disney and having a more variety of vacations.
I loved getting to see you at the ski slopes. You were in your element! Happy Kye is my favorite! You’re not one to overly express excitement or emotion (you’re pretty even-keeled which is a good thing!) so moments where I get to see you pumped up are so special.
I feel like as a family we’re in a great groove. Homeschooling has allowed you to live such a less-stressed daily life (You’re in such a better place stress-wise than you ever were in middle school and I firmly believe this decision to homeschool has set you on a path towards a less stressed adult life too).
We have so many fun moments together at the house. Family dinner. Games. Quality time. Survivor Sundays. Movie Nights. Even working on the treehouse will be fond memories you’ll appreciate even though it’s not always something you enjoy in the moment.
And we go on plenty of family adventures while mixing in lots of friend time for you between youth events, homeschool activities, youth camps, FBLA, basketball and basically anything else that comes our way and works in our schedule to sign you up for!
While Daddy and I both feel it’s important for you to have a job, I’m a bit nervous if we’ll be able to find one for you that will work within our busy family schedule. You have the rest of your life to work but we only have a few short years left of the teenage years. Of seeing my sweet boy at our dinner table each night. Our time together with you and you’re ability to be involved at worship services and in events that strengthen your walk with the Lord are the most important thing to us!
I’m praying we find open doors for a good fit for that first job. I do think you will thrive in a work setting and will benefit from feedback from an employer (both in building you up and encouraging you as well as offering you insight on ways to improve). It will be character-building as well as provide a good start to learning how to manage finances on your own in the future!
I’m sure the rest of high school will bring about many great things. New people. New friends. (Although Colt will forever be the GOAT…what a gift and a blessing to have such a good friend in your cousin!). New interest in some sort of sport or hobby (let’s be real, you’re always trying something new with genuine interest right? I love it!).
From your first steps to your first time behind the wheel of a car, all the days as your mom have been good days. They’ve been the best days of my life.
From the exact moment you breathed your first breath and until I breathe my last I will love you. I will soak up each special moment we share and promise that the words written here aren’t just my attempt at saying the right words, that they aren’t just some heartfelt letter, they are truly my heart.
I hope as you reflect back on this letter that some of what I’ve said are powerful words but mostly I hope you read this and none of it comes as a surprise.
Nothing is new or revolutionary because it’s all things you hear from me. Words you see my live and walk in my everyday life as your mom. Words that have already been written on your heart and in your mind.
You are my darling boy. My precious son. Getting up every single day and getting to be your mom is beyond anything I ever dreamed of.
I am so proud of you. So thankful for you. Happy for you. Excited for you. And HERE for you!
I love you so much. Happy 16th Birthday! Love, Mom xoxoxo
You can read my past Happy Birthday letters to Kye here:
15th Birthday Letter
My work has been featured on Love What Matters, Today Parenting and Babywise.Life. I'm also honored to be a member of the Babywise Friendly Blog Network.
You can read more about our family on my About Me page. Also be sure to follow along with me on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest!
- A Letter to my Son on His 16th Birthday From Mom (Kye’s Bday Letter) - March 20, 2025
- Open Letter to my Daughter on her 12th Birthday – Love, Mom {Britt’s 12th Bday Letter} - January 16, 2025
- Letter to My Son on his 6th Birthday – Love Mom - January 8, 2025
