I have been very blessed to be able to stay home with Kye. This has made it much easier for me to create a schedule for him and keep him on that schedule throughout his life so far. I know that I give all the credit to Babywise, and I do totally, but I feel like my love for Babywise may make other people turned off of it.
I know that most mothers work outside the home. They have to for whatever reasons or they choose to for their own reasons and there isn’t anything wrong with that. I have so much respect for women who work outside the home AND manage their household AND have babies! However, I think that if I personally was a working mother and I read my blog that I would probably never bother to read a copy of any of the Babywise series. What would be the point? I mean I wouldn’t be home enough during the day to implement any of it and I’d feel guilty asking my baby’s caregivers to stick to a pretty hardcore schedule.
I honestly don’t want anyone to feel like having a Babywise Baby is impossible for you. I don’t want anyone to think that Babywise is an all or nothing thing. Let’s remember that I am pretty loyal to the series (well, VERY loyal is more like it) yet I never had Kye truly cry it out. And crying it out is one of the big things Babywise is known for! Even though I didn’t do it with my child, I chose the things from the books that work with my personal beliefs and I stuck to those the best I could. While Kye may not have ever cried it out for a nap or to sleep at night, he is 100% a Babywise child. He has shown all the benefits of following the books and has gone along right on schedule for where the books say he should be. He slept through the night at 8 weeks and hasn’t stopped since!
What I’m trying to say is that Babywise CAN be for everyone and anyone. I don’t want anyone to feel like they wouldn’t benefit from it because their lives aren’t just like mine. If for some reason I had to go to work, I would still use the series. If I had 6 weeks maternity leave I would use that time to get my baby on track with the sleep-eat-play cycle. To me, that’s the KEY (I have a hard time writing the word “key” now…I always want to write “kye” instead haha!) to sleeping through the night. I would for sure do that and I would probably have my baby on a schedule as well. I think that if I had to take my baby to a caregivers house during the day that it wouldn’t be too much to ask of them to keep on the schedule the best they could (even if that meant not sticking to a certain time but just making sure the baby ate after sleeping and played before sleeping).
Yeah JUST doing the sleep-eat-play cycle may not mean that the baby will sleep through the night at 8 weeks, but I’m sure they would by 12. I’d also have a stricter routine for the mornings and the evenings. I would probably try to have independent playtime in the mornings so I could get ready and that way the caregiver wouldn’t have to mess with that. I’d also create a bedtime routine like we have now with eating, then bath, then story, then bed. I’d implement what I could from the Babywise series and I wouldn’t feel guilt about not doing the rest!
Sure, I’ve never done cry it out and yeah I felt some guilt about it…but I’ve been through it all at this point (about to start on Toddlerwise soon!) so I feel like it’s safe to say that I did what I wanted out of the books and I still have reaped the benefits!
I truly recommend that every mother-to-be at least read the first Babywise book. It’s very, very short and very to the point. If you go back to my first post about it I said that it could have probably all fit in a little brochure! haha. I also recommend that every mother who hasn’t read any of the series pick up the one that goes with your child’s age (if Kye’s age it’d be Babywise II, if older than 1 I think it’s Toddlerwise). I know a friend of mine read Toddlerwise after not having done the earlier -wise books and she loved it and is implementing many of the points from it now! I think it’s one of those things that’s never too early or too late to start. And if you started it strong then wavered and want to go back..you can!
You may read the book(s) and think they are stupid or don’t fit your life style at all..and that’s fine! I just know that they have helped me so so so much as a new mother and have helped my son to become the happy, well-adjusted, easy-going baby that he is!
This post wasn’t meant to peer pressure anyone either. I just was thinking about my blog from an outsiders perspective and didn’t want anyone to think that it is impossible to do Babywise if your baby is older, or if you work, or if your situation is just different from mine! It’s also not meant to make anyone feel guilty either…we all have found things that work for us be it other books, our own intuition, the internet, or advice from family. If you have found your “thing” then that’s awesome! This is just my “thing” that I fully support and want yall to know that anyone else can do it too! 🙂
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I can be used as an example that you can start Babywise at 15 months old and still make it work! It took a little adjustment but we are doing it!
Both Stevie Joy and Neela have been sleeping through the nigt since 6 weeks old. We DID do the cry it out though with both of them. We started with Stevie at 2 weeks, but I was a first time mom and she wasn't really having it, so we stopped for a while and picked back up when I thought she was ready. She still had the routine down eat-play-sleep though and I agree is the key. I actually start this in the hospital (I know it sounds crazy, but why not go ahead and get them use to it, it makes it easier on them actually). Neela we did cry it out starting at 2 weeks, but she took a paci so never really cried, she was starting to lose sleep over the paci as it had become a crutch and I was NOT going to continue to go back in there every 10 minutes during naps! So we took the paci away at 6 weeks and she found her thumb within 24 hours!! Best thing we ever done, every time I see her with her thumb in her mouth I think to myself, "Wow, I would have had to put that there" but instead now she is in control of it and can decide rather or not she needs to suck on something or not. Plus, I would feel so bad always sticking a paci in her mouth every time she fussed/cried like I was "shutting her up". Anyways, I do love the Wise series as well. I think I told you about them. I am not really as big into the whole independent play time at a certain time of day though, it has never really been an issue with either of my girls to play by themselves and I am not really organized enough to have it set up at the same time EVERYDAY!! Plus, I didn't really like how there were certain times in the day that siblings played together, I kinda had my so close in age so that they could always play together. It is Stevie's personality to want a little space though so that is when Neela would just play on her own or play with me. I dunno, I guess I feel like some degree it is just a little too rigid when you get to those times. Even if I wanted to do it, I don't think I would ever have one day that everything went according to the schedule, it's just not my personality, I think I am kinda a rebel 🙂 We do have structured learning time as I am trying to help with her focusing skills after breakfast in the morning, and they do eat and take a nap at the same time everyday (they both nap at the same time in the afternoon which is my Godsend b/c this is when I catch up on paperwork, have my quiet time, look at your blog 🙂 etc.I think that the lady from 18 kids and counting does do a little something like this though, I saw it in one of the earlier episodes where she had a chart of their day listed out and they do the buddy system where an older child is buddied up with a younger one and they have a certain schedule that they stick to daily. I have read all the books, and I like them. I am a naturarally laid back and kind of a pushover so I could not read any books about Carrying your baby in a sling all day, or never letting your baby cry or anything like that, I had to read a series that was different than me so that I could learn that perspective and graciously adapt.