So I decided to forgo the monthly “in waiting” posts because WE ARE SO CLOSE to this BABY! Whoop whoop! I know so many are praying and waiting anxiously for news. I post a lot in my Instagram Stories but there is just WAY too much to cover to fit in those short videos 😉 So until Tab arrives I’ll be doing a weekly update to share the latest news from doctors appointments etc.
This post covers a couple weeks from Nov 10th – Nov 24th.
I get to a point with my pregnancies where I have EVERYTHING ready. And then I wait. And wait. And I struggle in that wait but try to fill that time with FUN as much as I can. With Tab’s original due date of 11/16 I wanted to get some solo time with each of the kids. I know I’ll be gone the most once Tab is born so that quality time with each of them was important for ME just as much as it was for them 😉
Britt and I had dessert at The Mix
Kye and I had a coffee date
And Tessie and I went to Pet Smart to see the animals and she got a “slushee”
I went down to Jacksonville on Tuesday Nov 14th. Mama E had a non-stress test as well as an ultrasound appointment. It was a tough day as she wasn’t aware of the non-stress test and almost canceled. I’m so thankful I was down there as I think my being there helped the appointment happen! We ended up bringing one of her daughters with us to the appointment and she’s adorable. For the non-stress test only Mama E was allowed back so I got some quality time with her daughter and we played and played and she was just precious. She’s Tess’s age and it was comforting to see that she seemed right on target with Tess in all of her milestones and development. I enjoyed getting to know her and appreciate Mama E for feeling that level of trust and comfort with me.
I have been appalled at the care Mama E receives during this pregnancy. I understand that all the patients they see are Medicaid patients. But does that mean that don’t deserve respect? And proper care for their babies? During the ultrasound portion of her NST I was able to come in the room and I overheard the two techs saying to each other to JUST GUESS at the baby’s fluid levels because they couldn’t figure out the machines. JUST GUESS?!?! Are you kidding me? Overall the staff is just very rude towards Mama E (and all patients I’m assuming) and the wait times are terrible and they don’t communicate much AT ALL. It’s like pulling teeth to get info out of them. And they don’t seem to communicate to each other and everything is done at separate appointments. Like why would she get an NST and then not see the provider for 6 days?!?! So. Weird.
After the NST we went in for the ultrasound. Tab was breach at this visit. His head was all up in Mama E’s ribs. The ultrasound tech also didn’t give us much info but did say he’s weighing 6 lbs and measuring on target for the 12/12 due date.
Look at this precious boy!
Mama E bought me a snack for the ride home, SO SWEET!
I hit bad traffic and had a longer than typical drive. It was a LONG day with the appointments taking longer than anticipated. I’m very thankful I’m able to go to these visits and that Zach and Mrs Charlotte are there to help with our kids to make these visits happen. They are important that I’m there! Not only because it’s a lot emotionally for Mama E to handle alone, but she also has to do so much to make them happen (arrange childcare and transportation) AND seeing how she’s treated it makes me glad to be there to stand up for her and ask the questions that need to be asked.
While waiting I like to GET STUFF DONE. I’m all about being prepared! We went ahead and rearranged the van to fit all four seats!
I also got out all my comfortable clothes and packed things up! And yes, I’m crazy and totally tried on every outfit and took pics and made an album in my phone 😉
And I packed jewelry too. Because that’s totally necessary at a hospital haha
Whenever we add a new sibling to the family I like to put together sibling gifts for the older kids. It’s a way for them to feel special in their new role and I include items to help keep them happy and entertained during the newborn phase of life.
You can see Kye’s and Britt’s sibling gifts from when Tess was born here!
With Tab I wanted to focus on the car rides the kids will be taking back and forth from home to Florida. I thought entertainment was the way to go with these sibling gifts!
I purchased Kye and Britt a Kindle Fire 7 on Prime Day (they are the same deal this weekend though!) and loaded them with books and apps and set up all the parental controls so they are good to go right when they open them
I also got each of them a kid proof case
And included dvds that I know they are all wanting: Rouge One, Lion Guard and Trolls
As well as some classics that our collection needed replacing: Cinderella, Aristocats, Robin Hood
For Tess I purchased a Leapfrog Leapstart and it’s SO cool! I’m really excited about this for her and think she’ll love it!
I also organized my packing for Tab. I packed a diaper bag for the typical regular hospital stay.
I packed an additional diaper bag of things to grab if/when he has a NICU stay
(from what I’ve read hats, socks, and snap sleepers are best)
And then I did my best to pack 2 weeks worth of stuff for the ICPC stay in Florida once he’s discharge from the hospital
Do you see anything I need to add to any of the bags I’ve packed?
I added alcohol swabs and a sponge tub thanks to suggestions I received! I also plan to pack my nose frida!
I am a gift giver (it’s my 2nd love language after quality time) and I knew I wanted to put together a gift bag for Mama E to give to her at the hospital. I also decided to put together a sibling gift bag with items to help keep the little ones entertained and busy while she rests after discharge. I plan to write a personal letter to her to include with her gift 🙂
She mentions she enjoys adult coloring books so I picked up a couple of those along with some gel pens. Her favorite candy is a certain brand of sour gummy bears so I wanted to include those along with a Life Changing Blanket and some fuzzy socks. I also purchased a set of pjs for her and wanted to get one nicer, long lasting gift too. I debated a LOT on what to get and ended up going with a simple necklace that has three knots in it. I thought it could kinda represent her, me and Tab without being an obvious representation. From what I’ve read when birth moms don’t plan to have a relationship with the family post-placement it’s often better not to give an overly personal gift. Like I had thought of giving something with his birthstone or even name and decided against anything like that. I’m hoping she’ll love everything I picked out!
For her daughters I did a board game each, some stickers, expandable washcloths and some magic color books!
Katie was SO SWEET and offered to come spend a night helping me wrap. It was SUCH a HUGE blessing. I love enjoying the gifts under the tree and it took a big stress off my shoulders by having majority of the gifts wrapped!!! Plus it was a fun night together 🙂 Thankful for sweet friends!
We went the Saturday prior to Thanksgiving to cut down our tree. I couldn’t believe we didn’t have a baby! Since August we’ve been counting down to Nov 16th and really assumed he’d come earlier than that. I compare this feeling to what women feel like who go past their due date! I never reached my due date with any of my pregnancies. Tess was my latest and she was born a day before her due date and I WAS SO READY. It just gets pretty miserable at the end and we’re in a place we didn’t expect to be. To have almost a MONTH to wait after the due date we’ve been so looking forward to? Whew it’s hard!
BUT that time means we’re able to do a lot that we hadn’t thought we’d get to do. Just trying to focus on those things to help us make it in the wait!
We celebrated Little Mama’s 80th Birthday!
I had a big milestone meeting with the lawyer over the phone on Friday the 17th. They went over all the details of the hospital plan and what to expect and how everything is handled. Y’all. I hung up feeling SO AMAZING. We really are in THE best hands with our lawyer and I felt such a peace and such a sense of calm. She gave me TONS of encouragement. While I don’t want to get my hopes up (and while I still want to “plan for the worst case and hope for the best”) she said she feels like it’s highly likely that NO nicu will be needed! Wouldn’t that be PHENOMENAL!?!?!
The way it’ll work is when Mama E goes into labor she will call me and we will head that way. She’d like both Zach and I in the delivery room with her. After delivery she’d like for us to have our own hospital room where the baby will room in with US. Which is awesome and amazing and the lawyer said the hospital room is FREE. Huge blessing!!!
She did say that NO ONE but Zach and I should see the baby/visit the hospital (our other children included) until 48 hours after birth when Mama E will be allowed to sign over her parental rights. Once she signs then he’s OURS and anyone and everyone can come visit! We plan to have a photographer there when the kids come to get all those first sibling pics. I know that 48 hours will probably be the most difficult (and longest) of our lives! Our plan is to announce when he’s born but obviously not post photos or name or anything until he’s OURS 🙂
We will then have that hospital room for the length of his stay. Which will be 5 days UNLESS he is in NICU. She said a lot of encouraging things about him rooming in with us and how well that will help him do etc. If he gets transferred to NICU then we will lose that free hospital room and that that point will hopefully be able to stay at the local Ronald McDonald House (or with sweet friends who have offered!).
Once he is discharged from the hospital (praying for that 5 day stay!) we will need to stay in Jacksonville for 2 nights as he will visit a local pediatrician there for his 48 hour well check. After that we are free to leave the area while we wait on our go-head to leave Florida! ICPC typically takes 2 weeks but the lawyer was encouraging that it is often less than that, especially if he does incur a NICU stay.
So our BEST CASE is the 5 days then 2 in Jacksonville then possibly just a week after that in Florida (could be up to two weeks but she sounded like it’s common to only expect a week)
Worst Case is still the multiple weeks NICU then 2 in Jacksonville after that…but in that case we’d probably be cleared to leave the state by the end of the 2 days in Jacksonville!
So with this news our BEST CASE got BETTER and even our WORST CASE got better too! A HUGE win win all around!
Another huge blessing and advantage of having a lawyer…we don’t have to worry about ANY of the legal side of ANYTHING. We don’t have to bring a single document with us when Mama E goes into labor. We get to focus on her and that sweet baby and they handle IT ALL.
On Monday Nov 20th I headed back to Jacksonville for the provider appointment. Since the kids didn’t have school I really wanted them to have a FUN day. Robyn was SUPER sweet to offer to help anytime so she took Tess for the day and Courtney had Kye and Britt. They all had a BLAST and it made my day so much better knowing they were having fun and that I wasn’t burdening anyone with them.
Mama E recently was able to move into a home which is SUPER exciting for her little family and I was excited to get to see it and even to meet her oldest child, her son, who recently moved back to town too. He’s ADORABLE and just SO sweet and polite. He kept opening the door for me and just had a protectiveness over his mama that you don’t see every day. He went with us to her appointment that day and to lunch after so I was able to get to know him better. It’s so sweet that all of her kids love looking through our adoption profile book and that they WANT to know us!
We waited over an HOUR at the hospital waiting to be CHECKED IN. Mama E napped and her son and I just chilled waiting. We finally got to the check in and they said it’d be another hour or more to be put into a room. It was AWFUL. We both have been playing it cool with the many issues we’ve had regarding her care but this pushed us over the edge. We asked for a supervisor and kinda tagged teamed speaking our minds to her haha I’d say “Mama E has to arrange childcare to come to the visits and it’s ridiculous for her to have to wait so long” then she’d say “And Emily drives all the way from Georgia to be here!” Magically a room became open for us 😉
I was expecting a lot of info and insight at the provider visit. She was a day shy of 37 weeks on their calendar so I expected her to be checked for dilation/effacement. But nope. No check. They listened to his heart (137 ) and confirmed what we already knew about him being breach. Mama E had found her earlier ultrasounds that said his due date was 11/16 and she brought them with us. They said “it’s just a couple weeks off which doesn’t really matter” Um. OKAY? With a breach baby and a csection being possibly needed I’d think a few weeks does matter. We both left feeling a little frustrated (grubbing out on some Taco Bell helped ha!).
I had originally only planned to come to the Monday appointment and not come back for her NST appointment on Wednesday the 22nd. But the provider said if the baby hadn’t turned by Wednesday that they’d schedule the csection for somewhere around her 39th week (Dec 5th). I felt like it was an important visit and honestly seeing how much she has to go through to attend those appointments made me feel bad having her face all that mess alone.
Zach and I talked about it and since it was the day before Thanksgiving and he wasn’t going to work and the kids didn’t have school we decided to make it a family affair! I’ve been SO blessed by meeting ALL of Mama E’s children as well as both of her parents and I felt like this was such a great opportunity for her to get to meet our babies and spend more time with Zach too. I sent Mama E a text to see her thoughts on it and she sent THE sweetest response 🙂
We got the kids up super early Wednesday morning and headed down that way! We went to her house to pick her up and her three year old saw Tess and instantly pointed to her and said “ME TWIN!” They really do look SO MUCH ALIKE that it’s CRAZY!
Zach took our three kids and one of her kids to the store to get treats and drinks and supplies for our lunch while Mama E and I went to her NST appointment. When we first walked in the same supervisor we spoke with before was at the desk and she remembered us 😉 The office was DEAD which was awesome. It was by far THE best experience we’ve had there. We got right back and I waited while Mama E did the NST part of things. It was funny b/c I overheard the drs talking about a patient and they said “let’s get you down to labor and delivery.” I about freaked out thinking IT’S TIME! But then I heard Mama E’s voice saying “MAN! I’m jealous of you!” haha!
This time for the NST ultrasound part the tech was SUPER good at it. She knew what she was doing and made sure to see all the chambers of his heart and got the measurements of the fluid and everything. We both felt very relaxed with her and knew Tab was in good hands this time.
And the best news? NO MORE BREACH! Mama E had sent me THE coolest video the day prior where we could see his feet through her tummy! He TURNED! Yay!!!
He’s now head down and in position! Her next appointment is Tuesday the 28th for both an NST and to see the provider. Since she’ll be 38 weeks that day we feel confident they will check her and we should get a bunch of info that day.
After the appointment Zach picked us back up and we went over to her mom’s house to gather up the other kids. Her mom and I had a great talk and it’s just so amazing how blessed we all feel in this process and in the fact that God put us together. Mama E and I are SO similar which is just so awesome and our babies are all SO much alike too. It’s really just so, so amazing how God timed it all just right to bring us together in this way.
I can’t think of a day where my heart felt more full and happy. The weather was amazing and Zach picked up a bunch of pizzas and we spent several hours at a beautiful park on the water. It couldn’t have been a better spot. The kids all ran and played. The boys played football with Zach. We all got to visit and just enjoy each other. It was precious seeing all the kids pair up together.
When we left Britt said she wishes she had been adopted because Tab is so lucky to have TWO families. He is! Two families that love him and adore him and two families that are now one 🙂 It was the best Thanksgiving I could have ever asked for. I hope Mama E left feeling as wonderful as our family did! Her family is forever part of ours and I’m just so, so thankful for her and this incredible gift she’s blessing our family with to raise her child.
We had a nice Thanksgiving Day (nothing could come close to comparing to the day prior for me though ha!) and finished up wrapping gifts so we’re ready to enjoy the holiday season in our wait!
Looking ahead if she DOES carry him to her new due date of 12/12 then we are pretty confident we will be spending Christmas in Florida. I’m a tad stressed about that as our little family isn’t so little and I can’t fathom all of us fitting into a hotel room for Christmas. We want this to be a special time together and obviously want to make Christmas as special as possible! If ANYONE knows of ANYWHERE that would be available over Christmas holidays please, please let me know. With the extensive stay we may have I’m nervous about costs over the holidays and about finding somewhere that isn’t booked and can accommodate our crew. It’s tricky since we won’t know for sure WHEN we need the place either! Any and all options would be greatly appreciated 🙂
I also wanted to give a puzzle update! You can read more about it here but we had quite a few donations go through and we’re over halfway with it now! If you’d like to purchase a piece for $7 you can do so here. If more than one piece is purchased please be sure to leave a note letting me know what you’d like the message on the puzzle to say! These funds will help cover our expenses during our extensive Florida stay!
Please continue to keep us in your prayers! If you’re local and want to hang out LET ME KNOW I’m all about filling this wait with FUN 🙂 The lawyer feels extremely confident that Mama E will sign which is a great feeling to hear that but I know I won’t feel 100% confident until she DOES sign. So we’re eager for his birth. To have him here. To get past that 48 hour wait and to know he’s OURS. Continue to pray for smooth delivery, for Mama E and her emotions and strength, and for Tab! I’m so encouraged by the possibility of no nicu and would love love love for that to be a reality!
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