Why keep the baby’s gender a surprise at birth? Let’s discuss the benefits of waiting until birth to reveal gender!
Zach and I didn’t find out the sex of any of our three biological babies while I was pregnant.
We both agreed it was something we wanted to wait and find out in the delivery room.
People legit are SHOCKED when they hear this!
I know we are in the minority but I always suggest to my pregnant friends to consider waiting to find out the gender of their baby…
Here are MY reasons for why you should keep a baby’s gender a surprise at birth!
Disclaimer: post contains affiliate links.
Find Out Sex of Baby? Sometimes the Ultrasound is Wrong
Y’all. It happens. I’ve known more than a couple of people who it has happened to.
They are told “it’s a boy!” only to announce the news to friends and family, decorate a nursery in a boy theme, choose a name, and get a bunch of boy clothes to then find out that it’s really a girl.
I know people say they could never keep the gender a surprise at birth because they just “have to have a plan” but man it’d stink to do all that planning and preparing around one gender and then find out the baby is actually the other!
Gender Surprise at Birth Allows for Gender Neutral Baby Items
If you plan on having more than one child then sticking to neutrals is the best route to take!
By not knowing the sex ahead of time you’re able to avoid getting sucked into all the pink car seats, strollers, and toys and instead stick to basics that will be able to be used and enjoyed by many babies!
Having a gender neutral baby shower makes it fun to plan (lots of ideas are linked here) and fun to stock up on the must-have items you need rather than cute boy or girl-leaning items guests may enjoy buying!
We are still using LOTS of the gender-neutral items from our first baby for our third and they were purchased 8 years ago.
Having gender neutral items allows for better budgeting when added a new baby and helps keep costs down when adding siblings later down the road as well!
Benefits of Not Knowing Baby Gender: Non-Clothing Gifts
When you find out the sex of the baby people WILL buy you TONS of clothes. TONS.
Especially (sorry boy moms) if it’s a girl.
Baby clothes are SO FUN and SO CUTE.
But when they buy clothes that means they aren’t buying the stuff you really need.
And it means you end up with a TON of clothes that your baby will grow out of quicker than they can wear or that quite possibly isn’t your style.
Since every store under the sun sells baby clothes it also makes them difficult to return or exchange when received as presents.
Since we keep gender a surprise at birth, we actually receive practical gifts at baby showers and it’s SO fun buying
Baby clothing is not a very big expense but so many baby must-have items are pricier!
It’s such a big help financially to receive practical gifts that parents really and truly need in order to best care for their baby over clothing items that the baby often grows out of before they are even worn!
When You Keep Baby Gender a Surprise at Birth, it Means No Disappointments
Let’s just say you reeeeealllly want a son.
Finding out the sex while pregnant and finding out it’s a girl when you wanted a boy is disappointing.
And it’s easier to BE disappointed when you’re only halfway through your pregnancy.
Waiting until birth to reveal gender gives plenty of time to find benefits to having either sex.
Let’s say in this example you have a daughter already and are hoping for a son.
While you wait until delivery day to find out the gender you’re able to spend the months of pregnancy finding the benefits for the baby being a girl.
I did this myself each pregnancy. I found all the benefits for the baby being either a boy or a girl while I was pregnant and I entered into each delivery experience equally excited for either baby sex!
I promise you it’s impossible to be disappointed when that newborn baby is in your arms!
Keeping Baby Gender a Surprise at Birth Adds Motivation for the Delivery Experience
Labor is hard. Pushing is hard. Delivering a baby is straight up HARD.
But there is NO better motivation to push, push, push than to know you will finally get to know if your baby is a boy or a girl!
This was actually one of my big reasons I didn’t want to find out the sex of our third baby.
I do natural childbirth and going through that experience I was very motivated by the anticipation of knowing if we had a son or a daughter!
Waiting months to meet your baby means so much anticipation and excitement for the day of birth and finding out the sex!
Surprise Family Sex of Baby Means Less Opinions
People can be rude, often without meaning to be.
When you know the sex of the baby you get bombarded with opinions on names.
Names people like. Names they don’t. Opinions after opinions.
When you don’t know the sex? You don’t have to deal with ANY opinions on names 🙂
Oh, and we kept our names a secret too 😉
Which if you DO decide to find out the sex of your baby, I at least HIGHLY recommend keeping names a secret until delivery day!
Our families weren’t thrilled about a few of our names but they had to play nice about them it was too late haha!
People WILL have opinions about being surprised about the sex of the baby…but usually? Their opinion is that they just are so excited and want to KNOW which leads to the next benefit for waiting…
The Baby Gender Surprise Makes Delivery Day More Exciting for Friends and Family
People get SO EXCITED while I’m pregnant because we keep the gender a surprise at birth.
It makes it super fun for friends and family to guess, to look at old wives tales to try to figure it out, and to eagerly await the news on delivery day.
I know we all know people who find out the sex while pregnant and have probably known some that also keep it a surprise…as a friend or family member which is more exciting?
I LOVE when people wait to find out the sex of their baby until delivery day.
When I have friends on social media who go into labor and the sex isn’t known yet, I am constantly refreshing that newsfeed waiting for updates!
Sure gender reveal parties and name announcements are cute, but nothing compares to having friends and family come into that delivery room and getting to tell them that the new precious baby in your arms is a son or daughter!
Waiting until birth to reveal gender is SO FUN.
I mean, nothing can beat that joy!!!
Not Knowing the Sex of Baby Allows Siblings to be Included in the Baby Reveal Ideas
Not knowing the sex made it even MORE exciting for our kids when their siblings were born.
When we had our 2nd child our oldest got to be the one to tell all of our friends and family that “it’s a girl!”
It was PRECIOUS and made him feel so proud and special.
When we had our third baby we let our 2nd child announce the sex to everyone.
The moments in the delivery room meeting a new sibling are a lot on little ones.
It’s confusing and a bit overwhelming but including them in such a huge moment makes them PROUD and excited!
Leading up to the birth we’d talk a lot about how they’d get to make those special announcements, it helped build anticipation in a positive way for such a big life-changing event for our entire family.
Not Knowing Baby Gender is the BEST Surprise EVER
There are so few HAPPY surprises in life.
Sure, we all get hit with negative surprises.
Unexpected bad news. Tough moments we didn’t think would happen to us.
But when are there awesome, exciting, happy surprises?!?! VERY RARELY.
This is an opportunity to have the best kind of surprise possible! Why pass it up???
Waiting Until Birth to Reveal Gender of Baby Makes the Happiest Day Even Happier
It may be cliche but it’s so true. The birthdays of your children are among the happiest days of your life.
When our 1st child was born I remember the dr saying “it’s a boy!” and I instantly sobbed and looked at my husband and said “You have your son! You have your son!”
Finding out such awesome news in such a joyful moment just made it even better.
Same with our girls.
I had always dreamed of having a daughter and when they laid my first daughter on my belly and said: “it’s a girl” I was overwhelmed with so many emotions and filled with such joy.
No one ever says that the day they looked at the ultrasound and saw that they were having a girl/boy was the best day of their lives.
Waiting to know the sex until delivery day just really takes the entire experience to an even more joyful level and it’s a precious moment that you and your husband can share that you will both remember for the rest of your lives.
Plus it only adds the excitement to the story when you tell your children about the day they were born!
Not Knowing Baby Gender Makes the Birth Story More Fun to Share
Now that my kids are older I want to add this additional reason for keeping the gender a surprise until delivery day.
And let’s be real, there are a LOT of details about that day that we have to leave out.
But the moment they entered the world?
The reactions Daddy and I had to
Those are the moments they love hearing about the most!
By waiting to know the sex, you are giving your child the gift of a super special story to remember every year of their lives 🙂
I often hear people give reasons why they NEED to know the sex while pregnant:
“I’m a planner”
Dude. You are talking to THE most hardcore of hardcore planners.
What about knowing the sex changes anything regarding planning?
The baby will come when it comes regardless of if it’s a boy or a girl or if you know what you’re having at 10 weeks or 32 weeks or the day he or she arrives.
You can still do ALL the planning you want to do without knowing that one detail!
A baby is a BABY. Boy or girl, a newborn is basically the same thing either way with requiring the same care.
“I need to decorate the nursery”
Our first nursery was gender-neutral, our 2nd one I waited to decorate until after the baby was born (it’s not like they know the difference or are even awake long enough in the beginning to notice!), and the third we did gender-neutral but had gender-specific bedding made (we had the ultrasound tech put our results in an envelop that I sent to the girl who made the bedding so SHE knew the sex but no one else did.)
That third nursery experience? It was AWESOME.
While I was in the hospital during postpartum my husband and older kids opened the box of the bedding and such and put it all in the new nursery…it was a great way for the older children to help and it was so exciting to come home and see it all completed.
There are PLENTY of ways to still get the nursery you want without having to know the sex of the baby in advance!
With a newborn you are spending a LOT of time awake and searching for nursery decor online while you breastfeed is a great way to help stay awake during those late-night sessions 😉
“I want to feel closer to the baby”
This one may be valid? It’s hard for me to say because I’ve never known the sex of any of my babies while pregnant.
I’d have to ask someone who has done it both ways to see their take on it?
To me, I don’t see that knowing the sex would have made me feel any closer to my child or not?
I’d love my baby the same boy, girl, healthy, health concerns, etc.
Our fourth child entered our family through adoption (you can read about that journey here) and we knew that we were being matched with a birth mother who was expecting a son.
So we knew going into his birth that it was a boy.
The knowledge of his sex didn’t make any of us feel any more bonded to him than we did with our surprise babies.
“I want to pray specifically for this child by name.”
I don’t understand the purpose of this one.
God knows your baby. He knows ALL.
If you pray for your baby then God knows who you are talking about.
He doesn’t need to hear a specific name!
“My kids need to know if they are having a brother or sister.”
My kids were pumped for our third baby.
Sure, they both would say which they hoped it’d be!
Our oldest is a boy and wanted the newest baby to be a brother.
People asked if I was worried he’d be upset if it was a girl.
It was a girl and I have NEVER seen a child so in love with a baby as he was with her from the moment he laid eyes on her.
Their bond was instant and has continued to be very close even 5 years later.
Siblings’ love and the connection are so special whether it’s the same sex or opposite.
It’s a very personal decision whether or not keep baby’s gender a surprise at birth.
I know the MAJORITY of people find out and will continue to choose to find out but maybe, just maybe, someone will decide to keep it a surprise after this post.
And if you do let me know so I can be super mega pumped about it 😉
You can read about the moments when we found out the sex of our babies here:
And you can see the excitement of announcing the sex (and names) to our close friends and family in these videos:
C’mon now you know you’re convinced to be Team Green too 😉
In case you needed a printable of the reasons to share with family who may put pressure on you to find out the gender of your baby here’s a printer-friendly quick list of reasons to WAIT:
How to Decide to Keep Baby Gender Surprise
There are many benefits of not knowing a baby’s gender during the months of pregnancy. If it’s your first baby, second baby or even third or fourth baby having delivery day include the moment of surprise gender makes it even more special.
Here are reasons to consider regarding waiting until birth to find out the gender:
Find Out Sex of Baby? Sometimes the Ultrasound is Wrong
When predicting gender, ultrasounds are not 100% accurate.
Many expectant parents have a gender reveal party only to learn at a later doctor’s visit that their baby is actually the opposite sex!
Gender Surprise at Birth Allows for Gender Neutral Baby Items
Purchasing gender-neutral baby items helps keep spending down and allows for practical gifts at the baby shower’s that new parent truly need for their babies.
It also makes it easier to pass items down to future siblings when they are gender-neutral!
Benefits of Not Knowing Baby Gender: Non-Clothing Gifts
Everyone LOVES to buy baby clothes as gifts but truly babies just don’t need a lot of clothes and often they will grow out of clothes before they even get a chance to wear them.
Not knowing the sex of the baby limits gift purchases to those practical items parents really need.
Waiting Until Birth to Find Out Gender Means No Disappointments
During the months of pregnancy, you are able to find all the positive reasons for having each sex. Boy or girl? By the time delivery day arrives and that baby is put on your chest – you are so happy either way!
Waiting to find out the gender minimizes any potential disappointments!
Keeping Baby Gender a Surprise Adds Motivation for the Delivery Experience
Labor and delivery is a physically demanding experience and knowing that at the end of the difficult time period you will get to meet your son or daughter? It’s a HUGE motivation!
It helped me to stay focused during delivery when I knew I’d get to hear “it’s a boy!” or “it’s a girl” after!
Surprise Family Sex of Baby Means Fewer Opinions
People always have opinions when it comes to babies and parenting.
A perk of waiting to find out the sex? It means no one can be giving opinions over names!
The Baby Gender Surprise Makes Delivery Day More Exciting for Friends and Family
Friends and family will eagerly await the delivery day in order to be there for that special moment of learning if you’ve welcomed a son or daughter into the world.
A new baby is always a blessing and a cause for celebration but when the gender is a surprise it’s an added excitement and anticipation!
Not Knowing the Sex of Baby Allows Siblings to be Included in the Baby Reveal Ideas
The surprise of the new baby’s sex can be added excitement for older siblings as well and provide a special big kid moment where they are able to announce to family and friends that they have a new little brother or little sister.
It’s a great new baby is always a blessing and a cause for celebration but when the gender is a surprise it’s an added excitement and anticipation!
t way to have siblings involved, help them to feel special, and give them attention during a time that a lot of focus is on the new baby!
Not Knowing Baby Gender is the BEST Surprise EVER
It is truly the BEST surprise EVER.
There are so few happy surprises in life – why not enjoy one?
Waiting to Find Out Sex of Baby Makes the Happiest Day Even Happier
The days our children enter the world are among the happiest days of our lives.
Finding out during that same day that you have a daughter or a son? It only makes one of the best days an even BETTER day.
No one looks back on the day of their gender reveal ultrasound and considers it their best day ever…so why not just wait and make the delivery day experience EXTRA special?
Not Knowing Baby Gender Makes the Birth Story More Fun to Share
As your child grows up they will love hearing the story about their birth.
But so many parts of labor and delivery aren’t really fun to tell…however your child will ALWAYS love hearing about that moment when you first knew you had your baby boy or baby girl.
Keeping the gender a surprise makes their birth story more special and one they will love hearing over and over!
When You’ve Decided to Keep the Gender a Surprise: What Next?
Here’s tons of great ideas for a gender neutral nursery
And this post covers adorable gender neutral baby shower themes
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We decided not to find out the gender when I was pregnant. My motto was, "If God wanted me to know the sex he would have made a window in my belly!". I wanted to have the same joy and anticipation my parents experienced with me and my siblings. Technology is a good thing…. but sometimes it can take away "once in a lifetime" moments. Plus, we live in a NOW society.. so patience really is a virtue. 🙂
Yes yes yes!!!!! We didn’t find out with either of my 2 girls. Truly the best surprises ever! I actually giggled just seconds after delivery when the nurse told me my 2nd was a girl. And I loved all the predictions from family, friends, and strangers!
We decided to not tell family and friends the gender of our second baby. My family supports it and is so excited about finding out when the baby is here but my s.o. family is upset. I’m on the fence about if I want to know or not or just let my s.o. know and keep it a secret from me (which might be close to impossible haha)
I will be so happy either way, but I truly dont know if I can handle not knowing.
HI! My name is Skylar and I am 10 weeks pregnant with our 2nd baby! With our first, I knew instantly we were having a son and we found out at the ultrasound that he was a boy (Samuel Michael)! This time around, I felt God calling me to wait. My hubby and family and not on board but I know this is right! Your post just shows me we are making the right decision! Thank you for your awesome poat, it really have me confidence to stick to my guns!
Oh Girl. I came across this post a few months ago while looking for baby names. The last few years I’ve decided I really want to go this route and not know the gender before baby is here! Now that hubs and I are actually trying for baby #1 I’m trying to convince him too and your list is SO GOOD! It just helps me really solidify my own decision, was your husband always on board or did it take some convincing?
Author
GO FOR IT! Seriously the BEST surprise EVER. I’m pretty good at convincing so it didn’t take to much to get my husband on board, he loves the surprise too! Truly that moment is one of THE BEST EVER and sharing it together is a memory we cherish with each of our babies births!
I am having my 3rd baby and we decided not to find out the gender. I found out with my older two boys from my previous marriage, and he found out about his daughter during his ex wifes pregnancy. So we decided to wait. And so I wanted to answer the question of “feeling connected.” I do feel a slight space between me and this baby because I don’t get to personalize how i think of them. Its always a “if he/she…” or “the baby…” rather than “he or she” etc. It doesn’t seem like much but I did tell my hubby I do notice a little less connection because I don’t know. But I’m imagining that gap will close abundantly quick as soon as he or she is here <- see. Lol anyways, thanks for this post. It reminded me of why we decided this, and also gave me some insight into other pros (aka wanting to push fast!)
Author
Yes! That gap will close right when the baby is born and I need to edit this post to add that not knowing the sex makes their birth story WAY more fun to tell them on their birthday each year. My kids all love hearing the moment when we heard “it’s a boy!” or “it’s a girl!”
I love your article! I definitely want to wait until giving birth to find out the gender of our (first) baby. I’ve known this since before I was pregnant and friends have shared that I will have to be a fierce advocate with medical staff in order to not find out by accident. Did you find this to be true?
My husband and I are waiting until birth to find out what gender our babes are! Both of our parents waited and are very supportive.
The only “con” I can think of as far as not finding out is when you have a miscarriage. Our first we miscarried and we had the option of the blood test and refused. It kills me not knowing whether our little angel is a boy or girl. But, I also know that we will get to know, one day!
Author
Oh man yes I totally see that desire to be able to know that precious detail about your little angel. That is the first real con I can think of for waiting to find out too!
Great post! We have two and I really didn’t want to find out the gender the first time around. I ended up giving in because my husband really wanted to and certain family members put a lot of pressure on. I regret it now. I’d been expecting one gender and when I learned it was the other, it led to initial disappointment–which still hurts my heart to this day!! Why should my child have to hear that story?! Thankfully he’s cool with it. 🙂 But that NEVER would have happened if it’d been a surprise as you well understand. The one thing we did do is keep the name a secret and I’m thankful for that. With our second child, we waited to find out and it was worth it all. Thanks for giving people many good reasons to wait! There’s a joy upon arrival that just can’t be matched in the same way when you know in advance.
We did this with our first born. We did share names but no one knew the sex. We are expecting number 2 and planning to find out at birth. Not sharing names this time. It was so special to find out that day. When my husband got to announce it, it was such a special moment for him.
I have decided to wait to find out and my husband loves the idea too. My mom sounds seriously peeved but her being pushy with names was one of the reasons I decided to wait lol also we have 3 girls and a boy already and I’m tired of people asking “what are you going to do if you find out it’s a girl?” 🙄
Author
YES the pushy names drive me CRAZY! Stay strong!!! 😉
Loved this! I’m 13.5 weeks pregnant with my first and I was having a hard time deciding to find out the gender. My husband was very adamant that he didn’t want to find out and I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to keep it secret from him. His sisters and mother are also all about keeping it a surprise. I was just on the cusp of deciding what to do, even though I have a few more weeks until I could find out anyways. But your article really convinced me to not find out. The points about planning really sold it for me since that was the only reason I could think to find out. So glad I came across this article. Really needed it today ❤
Author
This makes me SO EXCITED for you!!! So glad the post helped you make the decision to be surprised – I PROMISE you won’t regret it 🙂
34 weeks pregnant today and we decided to wait for the gender since the beginning of pregnancy. However, my doctor just gave me an envelope at today’s appointment with the gender! My husband and I were so tempted to open it… I told him “but we’re so close!” So we decided to hide the envelope haha. But here I was googling whether or not I should take a peek… and I’m glad I ran into this post. I’m even more excited to find out. We already have a girl and obviously would like a boy but another girl should be fun! And you’re right,.. if I find out now it leaves room for gender disappointment rather than if I wait and hold her in my arms I’ll just be happy that I got to meet her. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Author
This makes me so excited for you! I’m SO GLAD you HID the envelope!!! It’ll be so worth it 🙂 Congrats!
I have 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl. Ever since I can remember I have always wanted 4 kids total. I have always wanted 2 boy and 2 girls in that order lol. Well my two oldest are the boys 15, and 13 and my daughter is 8 and she is begging for a sister and I understand because I have always wanted a sister. My husband and I agreed to try for our last one later this year and I have been torn between deciding to know the sex of our future baby. I was convinced that I Would know the gender before birth. Now I am 100% sure I want to wait until he/she is born! Thank you for giving your opinions on this topic!
Author
ahhh I am SO EXCITED for you!!! You will NOT regret being surprised and it’ll be even more fun having older kids who “get it” too as THEY will love being surprised! Super excited for your family to be complete 🙂
Hi Emily! So I often wonder if the next time should be when I wait to find out until delivery. It seems fun when other moms do it. Except when I remember I unintentionally had to have it a surprise:)
With my first child she was positioned bottom down and they couldn’t tell if it is a boy or girl (had late ultrasound). When in delivery room I absolutely didn’t care to find out the gender, I was in pain and wanted it all to be over with. I remember my husband telling me its a girl, and me being so exhausted I honestly didn’t care! I bonded with her in the following days but not knowing the gender seemed a complete bummer to me. All other girls had cute girly outfits and I prepared yellow and green.. And then she cried first two months so I didn’t care to go to the store and pick something cute plus we were on strict budget and it was pre-online ordering era 2007. I had 8 more children since, and every time I feel like I am actually making 2 special days. One-the gender day, and other actually meeting my child. Why not?!! Having the excitement picking out a few outfits or digging through my kids clothes and finding ones that are still good while not worrying yet about pumping on time or whether I should run and do important things while baby is still asleep. I would not have as much time after the baby is born. It’s usually a whirlwind in the first weeks.
However I admire the patience of all moms who choose to wait!
Author
I love hearing your perspective! So interesting how people can experience similar things but feel differently about them – the online era of mothering for sure makes the ability to keep the gender a surprise a little easier 😉 Thank you for sharing!
Hi Emily, I agree with all of your ideas. I have 6 children, the first 4 are girls. We waited to find out until their birthday to see who they were. The youngest girl we had a scare with a placenta abrasion so in the midst of many ultrasounds the dr let slip she was a girl :-). At that point I didn’t care. I just wanted her to be healthy and full term.
By my 5th pregnancy I asked the dr to put the news in an envelope fir my husband……he let the news out cause he was so excited to get a boy. I have to say a part of me was sad. I wanted to wait but I was trying to honor him and let him find out ahead of time.
The 6th baby was a surprise again. And now I’m pregnant with number 7. I was just looking through gender revel ideas and saw your post. I think you re confirmed why I like to wait. So thank you.
Author
Congrats on baby #7!!!! I love hearing that the waiting to find out is still as exciting, it really is the best moment! Prayers for smooth pregnancy and healthy delivery
After reading this I am considering keeping our 4th baby a surprise. it would be our first time not knowing and this is our last pregnancy.
thanks for sharing your experience with us
❤️
Author
Ahhh I hope you go for it! It’s truly THE BEST surprise!!!!